So when your original plan fails, what do you do next? Do you come up with plan B?
Or maybe you recognise that it was your human planning and deadline setting and trying to make things happen that resulted in what you experienced in the first place.
Maybe your plan really was as David Whyte says, "...too small for you to live."
So maybe you are in the perfect situation to surrender your planning and let the currents take you where they take you and you don't have to do anything.
You don't have to plan it all out or think it through.
You don't have to come up with a destination, a return date or a list of things to see and do.
You especially do not have to walk 3,000+ kilometres or achieve some amazing feat.
You can surrender all your thinking and scheming and planning for the experience of life which is exactly like the vast oceans—it carries and supports you even when you're not aware that is what is happening.
All you have to do is be like driftwood.
On Thursday afternoon I fly to Rome and from there I will become driftwood—dreaming, dancing, drifting my way along with the currents.
Who knows where they will take me?
Maybe I will meander or zig-zag or circle the Mediterranean or maybe I will drift straight towards home.
There is magic in not-knowing and enchantment in mystery.
After everything I have experienced this year I hope I have finally learned that I cannot fight the current that carries me in this life.
Maybe being like driftwood is what I really wanted all along.
Today as I started packing some belongings to post back home, I flicked through my journal and found this entry that I wrote at the beginning of September only a week after my back seized...
Let go of your schedule, your timetables, your calendar, your planning, your busyness and your need to fill in every waking moment with the lard of productive doing.
Go outside, exactly as you are.
Go to a park or a forest, a beach or any open space.
Follow your feet that follow your eyes
opened as if born anew and seeing for the first time.
Go where they go in circles and lines and zig-zags.
Go to what calls your attention, to what flirts with your senses with its bright pretty colours or curious patterns and shapes.
Wander without aim, without rules or constraints.
Wander with curiosity.
Wander knowing that it produces nothing yet yields everything.
Wander knowing that you are reclaiming the instinct of your soul that you cut off and lost the moment you let your life be ruled by your calendar and time
And the idea that you have to do and be productive for your life to matter.
With all my love and surrender
Watching sunset at Komodo National Park. And yes, I am dreaming of the sea.