Letting go of what you think life should look like

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For years, I leaned forward into a life I never arrived at.

I was preoccupied with everything I thought would make me happy and that would eventually make my life mean something important – like a successful career, financial security, overseas holidays, a home, a husband and family.

Then one day, during a prolonged period of extreme unhappiness, I quit.

I left a long-term relationship that I had over-stayed.

I quit my job without another job to go to.

Eventually I packed up my belongings to travel and be free for a while.

Unshackled from routine and my never-ending planning and doing, I found myself in wonder at this life and what it truly means to be alive.

Free of ties and blindfolds, free of commitment and expectation, I sank into the invitation to move the way my spirit moved me instead of the way I thought I should move through my life.

I began to see the magic all around:
in the blossoming of flowers,
in the setting of the sun,
in the kind and gentle touch of a lover,
in the sting of being misunderstood,
in the flow of following my intuition and the surprising terrain it guided me through.

I let go of what I thought life should look like and how it should unfold by becoming open and free and willing to see what could be possible.

I became a blank canvas for the universe to write on and through.

I began to experience the rapture of living in the aliveness that is only available now and cannot be deferred or chased.

Your life might not look like mine. You may not be called to the same adventure, to quit a job, to leave a relationship, to travel or to change careers. But there will be times during your life that you will be called to adventure in your own unique way.

You may resist or deny the call. Making life changes can be thrilling for some but scary for others. Resisting that step for too long can lead to pain and suffering or even a dulling of vitality or complete loss of joy.

My wish for you is that you don’t stay stuck in the resistance for too long.

May you gather your courage and your allies and supporters who really want the best for you and can hold space for your change.

May you find your way to let go of whatever may be holding your back, or find the energy of your tipping point to move you forward.

There is no formula for letting go and moving forward and it’s usually never as simple as just letting go as some people may tell you, although they may mean well.

There can also be a lot to learn from our resistance if we unpack and explore it, but staying stuck for too long can be unnecessary and unhelpful.

If you find yourself stuck and need some support to help you move forward, send me an email to kym@kymwilson.com.au. I’m here and ready to help.

With love and courage,

Kym xx

Medicine for the heart and soul

Photo by Harli Marten

Photo by Harli Marten

A few days ago I came across this most divinely beautiful youtube video recording of the Gayatri Mantra performed by Norwegian duo, Radical Devotion.

I have been listening and singing along to it several times each day and it has had such a profound effect on my body, heart and soul that I wanted to share it with you here. I feel more loving, kind, gentle, peaceful, compassionate, strong, centred and committed to helping others find their way.

I invite you to make yourself comfortable, close your eyes, and just listen to this song, which is a prayer to the divine asking for illumination of the mind or enlightenment.

Breathe in and rest here for a short time, soaking in the sweetness of this music, allowing it to touch your heart and move your soul and bring you home. It is medicine for all suffering.

If you can’t see the embedded image, click on the following link to take you to the Youtube video.:

https://youtu.be/PpLrJBNIoKU

Notice the quality of the silence at the end of the recording, how pristine it is, how still and unified the audience are.

Rest here for a while before you go on with the busyness of your day.

Perhaps you can take the qualities of love, compassion, peace and that stillness into your day so that this prayer may benefit you and all you come into contact with all day long.

What is the Gayatri mantra?

The Gayatri Mantra is a very ancient prayer; some say it is more than 5,000 years old and that is an unbroken chain, always being chanted by someone somewhere in the world.

The words of the mantra are:

Om Bhur Bhuvaḥ Swaḥ
Tat-savitur Vareñyaṃ
Bhargo Devasya Dhīmahi
Dhiyo Yonaḥ Prachodayāt

 There are many translations, but the one I am familiar with from Chameli Ardagh and Awakening Women is:

Throughout all existence
“That” essential nature illuminating existence
is the Adorable One.
May all beings perceive with subtle intellect
the magnificent brilliance of enlightened awareness.

Life can be endlessly busy.  There are important things we must do in this world, but for a moment I invite you to rest here in your heart. Many people and beings on this planet are hurting. Send yourself and them love.

From rest and love, a new world may grow.

With love and courage

Kym xx

A prayer and poem for earth day

Photo by Rachel Pfuetzner

Photo by Rachel Pfuetzner

Dear ones,

Today is Earth Day. All over the world events are held to demonstrate support for environmental protection. My dreaming is that one day we won’t need an annual Earth Day because we will live with reverence for Mother Earth and in harmony with her and each other every single day.

Today, may we give great thanks for all that the earth provides us:
Air to breathe.
Water to hydrate and cleanse us.
Food to nourish us.
Ground to support us.
Places of shelter.
Beauty and wonder to inspire us.
Creatures to walk beside us.

As I sat down to write this post, I hoped I would be inspired to write something my mind deemed as profound, but instead, I found myself returning to a simple gratitude poem I wrote some years ago when I was living in Phuket. I felt reluctant to share it at first, because it is steeped in a child-like innocence but it is because of its essence of innocence that I feel compelled to share it. Innocence is our true nature from which wonder and pure love arises.

 


Thank you for the sunsets

Thank you for the sea

Thank you for scuba diving

and all it has taught me.

Thank you for the stars

and the beautiful crescent moon.

Thank you for the sunrise

although sometimes it comes too soon.

Thank you for my family.

Thank you for my friends —

for all the support and love I receive,

I hope it never ends.

Thank you for my street dogs,

they remind me how to love.

Thank you for the aeroplanes

and the view they give me from above.

Thank you for this planet

I love it more than I can say.

Thank you for each breath I take,

and for each and every day.

Thank you for this freedom,

I’m grateful for so much choice.

Thank you for this life I live

I’ve so much to rejoice.

What are you grateful for today?

With love and courage,

Kym xx

To receive the day

Photo by Angelo Pantazis

Photo by Angelo Pantazis

 

Mid way through this warm autumn,

I sit and watch,

listen and breathe,

feel and appreciate

all the beauty of this season:

The softness of the daylight,

the cool breeze,

clumps of bronze seed pods

waiting to helicopter-fall

from the ash tree,

the thin pale blue sky,

birds chirping, magpies carolling,

shimmering strands of spider webs,

the sun gently warming my skin.

The earth endlessly offers us

so much beauty and nourishment

for free,

yet we rush on with our days,

with the busyness

of the consuming world

we were born into.

Change begins within each of us.

To receive the day

is different than to take.

To appreciate fully

what is freely and generously offered

fills the endless void of lack.

Wants fade away. Needs are fulfilled.

Joy, contentment and peace

are here

in front of us.


 

Dear ones,

Wherever you are in the world, whether it is spring or autumn, monsoon or dry season, I hope that you find many moments each day to be still and enjoy the beauty of this earth in the changing seasons.
May your problems dissipate or even go away.
May you find fulfilment in simplicity and just being here.
May you be inspired to create and to celebrate life and our beautiful mother earth.
May you be kind unto her, unto yourself and to each other.
May kindness become our prime currency now. We need it more than ever.

With love and courage,

Kym xx

Silence, a wise teacher

Picture by Greg Rakozy

Picture by Greg Rakozy

 

Blessed Silence, how grateful I am that you found me once again.

My mind had all these ideas of what I was going to write

but when I sat down to type all the words flew away.

Instead, I discovered a vast space pulsing with tangible quiet

and the deep inner peace that tells me everything is okay.

Your sudden appearance used to distress me.

I questioned how I could call myself a writer if I had nothing to say.

But I have come to realise that you are a wise teacher.

You may show up unexpectedly and catch me by surprise

but you always bring gifts:

Rest. Presence. Depth. Space. Holding.

Time beyond time. Refined listening. Integration.

These gifts cannot be fully received if I am in motion,

chasing after thoughts that were already running away.

New words may come later, perhaps wisdom too

but if there is something truly to be spoken,

Silence, it will arise from you.

Autumn blessings

Image by Timothy Eberly

Image by Timothy Eberly

 

Blessed Autumn,
you break open my heart
with your brazen beauty.

You ripple across this land
in shades of red, orange, 
amber, yellow and tan
until you fade
into the darkness 
of winter’s waiting arms.

You offer your bounty,
and I drink it all in
until I am satiated in bliss.

I could die right now
and feel content with my life.

Absorbed in the fullness
of this moment 
I know nothing I’ve strived for
truly matters, 
but everything I’ve surrendered to
has been richer in meaning
then anything earned.

Swallow me whole
and if you must spit me out
transform me into the golden light
of the end of days.

Witnessed by many or none
it does not matter,
my purpose will still be complete.

When your calling is scary and 3 tips to help you over come your resistance so you can just start

Photo by Ian Schneider.

Photo by Ian Schneider.

Today I have everything and nothing to say. So much has unfolded in my life in the last week.  There are so many things I could write about: the secret tricks of resistance, the gifts of cleaning up my act, the intelligence of the body, the unexpected joy of following a green mono-diet for the last week that was not hard at all contrary to what my mind had to say before I started.

My mind has been flipping between all the options I could write about, not sure which one to choose. So I decided to just start writing and see what emerges.

Sometimes you just have to start and see where you end up.

 The path isn’t linear or set in stone.

All roads lead to Rome. Although in years gone by, pilgrims may have walked the same route to Rome for safety and to access amenities, which is why it became the preferred pilgrimage route in the first place. There are in fact innumerable routes to Rome depending on which way you personally choose to walk. Your path is yours and yours alone. Don’t walk someone else’s (unless you feel called by your soul to do so.)

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I didn’t know I was going to write all that. It just came out as I was typing. See. This is this joy of turning up to a blank page to see what wants to emerge and be expressed.

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Sometimes we think we have to know where we’re going or how to do something or how it’s going to turn out before we start but the truth is we don’t really know until we start.  

So just start with a small step or if a small step is too much just a small movement or gesture.
Find your way.

On the weekend I bought and almost completely devoured Stephen Pressfield’s latest book, The Artist's Journey: The Wake of the Hero's Journey and the Lifelong Pursuit of Meaning upon the recommendation of my women’s circle leader, Grace Funk of Priestess Your Life, who described it asa game-changer.”

 Similar to Grace, I have spent most of my life exploring why am I here? What are my gifts? And in recent years, what is my subject? What is the underlying theme of my writing? Who am I here to serve?

 I realise as I was reading that my writing has dwindled away (again). The poetry has stopped. My instagram posts have a sentence or two at most. Sometimes I journal. I write my weekly blog post…so that’s something.  But overall, I have been writing very little.

I don’t feel inspired.
I have nothing to say.
I have to focus on finalising and marketing my book.
I’m too tired.
I don’t know what I want to write about yet.
I’m not clear on the subject yet.

These are some of my most common reasons…I mean excuses…I tell myself that stop me from writing.

Yes…they stop me from writing which because I tell myself means I stop myself from writing.

 Guess what’s really at play here?

 Resistance. I’d write it in invisible ink if I could because that’s how it often shows up in my life.

Stephen explains that writing or creating requires that we go from Level #1 - our everyday reality into what he calls Level #2 -“that is the Unconscious, the Soul, the Self, the Super-conscious.” You might also think of it as the Universe or unlimited creative field.

 “Resistance is a min-Refusal of the Call” (to adventure, to create, to take a risk or specifically in my case to sit down to the blank page to write.)

 But why?

 It’s simple.

 “The Call is scary,” writes Stephen.

Resistance is “the terror the psyche experiences at the prospect of encountering the Self, i.e. the soul, the unconscious, the superconscious.” 

I’d also offer that the psyche experiences this terror when venturing into the unknown whether it be to go and walk a pilgrimage route on the other side of the world, quit your job without another one to go to, take on any challenge you’ve never done before where you risk failing or change your life in some way that the psyche fears may be irreversible.

Stephen says that the first skill the artist must learn is how to start.  However, he does not tell you how to start. This is something the artist must discover for herself.

 At the end of the day you must discover what works for you but I will share a few things that have worked for me:

1.    When I don’t know what to write about, I ask for inspiration

I discovered this early in my Via Francigena journey. I noticed that I had been receiving writing inspiration constantly as I was walking then one day there was nothing.  I heard nothing.

I asked the universe why I wasn’t receiving inspiration and a small quiet voice said I didn’t ask. So I asked and it soon came flooding in.

To ask is to open to receive.

2.    Grow your creative energy anyway you can

Dance, walk, cook, paint, draw, colour, write, sing, play, walk, take photos, make love, go to an art exhibition or a performance.

Do something that gets you out of your head, that is fun and makes you feel excited.

This weekend I got my easel and paint out for the first time in months and intuitively painted.  When I paint, sometimes I have an idea of what I’m going to paint but it usually changes as I paint, often completely such is the way the creative process works through me. I also “make mistakes” e.g. put paint on in a way that doesn’t match my expectations, but somehow I always find a way to cover it, change it, blend it, correct it, morph it into something new or accept it.

I loved my painting so much, I have called her Mary the Angel and framed her and hung her on the wall behind my desk to reflect back at me my own creativity as I work. I am now super excited to paint more. I even ordered a book on intuitive painting for inspiration and learning. This excitement is flowing over into my writing and other areas of my life.

Here’s Mary the Angel….

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Can you see the luminous lizard creature hanging around her head aura? Well that was unintentional (which you could call a mistake) but as one of the many things lizard symbolises is teaching us that there are untapped powers in us, I think it was divinely intended and created.

3.    Be curious

 High expectations are a killer. Take the pressure off yourself. You don’t have to create something perfect. You don’t have to get it right.

Just start with curiosity and see what emerges and where you end up. Maybe it will be a mess.  Maybe you will fail.

Or maybe it will inspire something else or another part of your life.

Maybe it will be truly amazing.

Maybe that’s the real fear here that your amazingness exceeds what you have previously known/thought about yourself.

You may still feel resistance. Fear may come up.

Just feel it and send it some love.

See if you can find the excitement in your body for creating, make it bigger and bigger in your body so that your excitement is greater than your fear. Your excitement will help you step over the edge again and again.

“The artist is not expressing himself. He is discovering himself.” - Stephen Pressfield

And isn’t that just it? We get focused on outcomes: achievements and progress and getting somewhere and making it some place. But the journey is about discovery and there’s so much to discover in this world, and especially within yourself in the short time we have here on this planet in this life.

I just started writing this blog unsure of my starting point or where I was going and it showed up as I wrote. This also happens to be the longest blog I have written in a long time, which could be good or bad depending on your attention span and/or personal preference [insert cheeky face emoji that doesn’t exist on my laptop keyboard so you’ll have to imagine it.]

In writing this, I have discovered more about myself, primarily that I’m actually quite clear on how to get myself out of resistance. I just needed to write it down to remind myself.

I’m also feeling the creative fire inside my heart burning even more brightly, a combination of writing this blog, creative cooking, and painting on the weekend that has triggered a whole heap of ideas for books and insights and clarity around what I’m here to teach in this lifetime.

 So what do you say? Want a make a commitment to yourself to just start? To have a go? To give it your best shot?

Your adventure, your art, your book, your poetry, your song, your dance, your [fill in the blank] is waiting to come through you.

I hope you’ll say yes.

With love and courage,

Kym

xx

PS If you need some help to overcome resistance, checkout how we can work together on my service page and/or send me an email to kym@kymwilson.com.au or through my contact page.