Instead of pushing on when the going gets tough, try this…

Photo by Dingzeyu Li

Photo by Dingzeyu Li

I’ve spent the last two days in my pyjamas. The stomach pain that plagued me last year has returned and I am experiencing a lot of discomfort. My stomach is sore and bloated, my appetite is off, I feel nauseous at times and my energy is low.

In the past when I was in pain or unwell, I used to pop a pill and keep going. We’ve been conditioned to soldier on.

There can be a time to push on, such as when you have young children that require your care and need you to keep going as much as you can. Or when you are stretching outside your comfort zone towards your dream and fear starts making things tough and screaming for you to stop.

Fear can also be the very reason we need to stop pushing on

Sometimes pushing on and taking action is powered by our fear and not our dreams. We keep going because we are afraid of what will or won’t happen if we stop.

Maybe we worry that we won’t achieve the goal, or that we’ll be financially unsafe or get into trouble with the boss if we don’t show up or the workload will just grow out of control if we keep going.

We don’t stop to question how true these stories are or allow ourselves to see another possibility that could be more true.

Like what if you stopped and others stepped in to help and support you? What if you stopped and discovered the world didn’t end and you actually felt more peace and contentment? What if stopping allowed you to return to health and joy far quicker than if you kept plugging on?

Mostly I find that pushing on is an act of unkindness to myself.

Often it involves putting the needs of others (real or perceived) before my own needs.

My tendency to push on is usually powered by fear that I won’t get there and achieve my goal if I don’t keep pushing towards it. These days when I notice this tendency it is a sign that I need to stop and plug back into the love and support of the universe. 

Let your inner wisdom show you the way

When the going gets tough, I have learned to check in with myself, to listen to my feelings and needs and be guided by my intuition/inner wisdom.

Yesterday my intuition told me to stop. Healing becomes so much more available to us by stopping and surrendering rather than battling on.

My intuition told me to find as much relaxation as I could, and joy too, and to love myself exactly as I was even with all the pain I didn’t want to experience and was trying to push away. Pushing on or pushing away, the common denominator being pushing, can make the suffering a lot worse.

Believe it or not right now, you can achieve your goals and dreams without pushing or forcing.

A practice to listen to your own wise inner guidance

The next time you find yourself pushing on when you are unwell or obstacles keep appearing and the way is getting tough try this instead…

Pause where you are and make yourself comfortable

Breathe in deeply, and exhale naturally, allowing your breath to leave your body at its own pace.

If it feels right for you, allow your eyes to close.

Breathe in deeply once more then exhale again.

Return to normal breathing, and pay attention to your breath. Notice it as it goes in and out of your body. Notice the quality of it. Is it hot or cold or warm? Gentle or strong or somewhere in between? Where do you notice the breath make contact with your body? Your nose, throat, chest, belly? Are you breathing deep or shallow?

As you breathe, feel yourself supported by the seat you are sitting on or the earth beneath your feet. Know and trust that you are supported here now.

Now put your hands over your heart and as you continue to pay attention to your breath, ask yourself this question:

“What do I most need right now?”

Keep breathing and listen for any responses. You might hear words, see images or symbols, sense or feel it or just know. You might also not receive any response at all at first.

For the next minute, just keep asking yourself, “What do I most need right now?” Listen for any responses that arise. Not receiving a response right now is absolutely fine. You have asked the question and planted the seed. You may find that the response arises later in the coming days when you least expect it.

If you received a response, then ask yourself the following question:

“How can I give this to myself right now?”

Again, keep your attention on your breath and listen for any responses that arise.

Continue to ask yourself the question for one minute.

Then take a deep inhale and with your exhale release the question.

In whatever way feels right to you, offer gratitude for the insight you have received. Maybe it’s a simple thank you or a bow of your head or some other gesture that feels right to you.

When you are ready, open your eyes.

You might like to write down any guidance or insights you received and anything you notice in the coming days.

You can return to this practice at any time.

If you’d prefer to be guided through the practice, I have recorded it for you here.

Here is the direct link to the recording on soundcloud here https://soundcloud.com/kym-wilson-2/a-guided-practice-to-listen-to-your-own-wise-inner-guidance/

I’d love to hear any insights you received from this practice. Leave a comment or email me.

If you are finding that is fear is taking over your life either pushing you on or holding you back then let’s work on this together. Email me now. I’m here to support you.

With love and courage,

Kym

xx

Going where the heart energy flows and the peace that holds everything

Yesterday when I was thinking about this week’s blog post, I was excitedly contemplating recording another video blog and ideas were quickly flashing up about what I could vlog about. And then today dawned, and a different plan unfolded.

I had the opportunity to say yes to visit loved ones for a healing conversation.

In the background my mind mumbled some objections mostly around having so much to do including writing this blog post and not enough time but these days I’m more interested in what my heart has to say.

Heart didn’t even have to say go. It was already there and so my body followed.

We will always have to do lists and things we need to do but there is no guarantee how long our loved ones will be with us on this planet. Don’t delay any longer saying those things that are ripe or overdue to be expressed.

On the way home, as late as it was and still needing to write this blog post, I stopped beside the sea to watch the sun set for a few moments.
The horizon glowed golden apricot.
The waves rippled to shore.
Sea gulls glided gracefully free.
Despite the noise of traffic rumbling past behind me, there was a peace here that holds everything.
No matter the chaos or busyness of everyday life, you can find peace within it. If you need a little dose now, you can experience it for yourself here https://vimeo.com/324943305

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This is not the blog post I thought I would write today.

Today was not the day I thought it would be when I awoke into the new day. It was much more alive than that.

In his poem, What to Remember When Waking, David Whyte wrote, “What you can plan is too small for you to live.”

Life keeps teaching me again and again to trust the unplanned life. There is something greater that wants to be lived through us beyond anything we could plan.

With love and courage,

Kym
xx