Instead of pushing on when the going gets tough, try this…

Photo by Dingzeyu Li

Photo by Dingzeyu Li

I’ve spent the last two days in my pyjamas. The stomach pain that plagued me last year has returned and I am experiencing a lot of discomfort. My stomach is sore and bloated, my appetite is off, I feel nauseous at times and my energy is low.

In the past when I was in pain or unwell, I used to pop a pill and keep going. We’ve been conditioned to soldier on.

There can be a time to push on, such as when you have young children that require your care and need you to keep going as much as you can. Or when you are stretching outside your comfort zone towards your dream and fear starts making things tough and screaming for you to stop.

Fear can also be the very reason we need to stop pushing on

Sometimes pushing on and taking action is powered by our fear and not our dreams. We keep going because we are afraid of what will or won’t happen if we stop.

Maybe we worry that we won’t achieve the goal, or that we’ll be financially unsafe or get into trouble with the boss if we don’t show up or the workload will just grow out of control if we keep going.

We don’t stop to question how true these stories are or allow ourselves to see another possibility that could be more true.

Like what if you stopped and others stepped in to help and support you? What if you stopped and discovered the world didn’t end and you actually felt more peace and contentment? What if stopping allowed you to return to health and joy far quicker than if you kept plugging on?

Mostly I find that pushing on is an act of unkindness to myself.

Often it involves putting the needs of others (real or perceived) before my own needs.

My tendency to push on is usually powered by fear that I won’t get there and achieve my goal if I don’t keep pushing towards it. These days when I notice this tendency it is a sign that I need to stop and plug back into the love and support of the universe. 

Let your inner wisdom show you the way

When the going gets tough, I have learned to check in with myself, to listen to my feelings and needs and be guided by my intuition/inner wisdom.

Yesterday my intuition told me to stop. Healing becomes so much more available to us by stopping and surrendering rather than battling on.

My intuition told me to find as much relaxation as I could, and joy too, and to love myself exactly as I was even with all the pain I didn’t want to experience and was trying to push away. Pushing on or pushing away, the common denominator being pushing, can make the suffering a lot worse.

Believe it or not right now, you can achieve your goals and dreams without pushing or forcing.

A practice to listen to your own wise inner guidance

The next time you find yourself pushing on when you are unwell or obstacles keep appearing and the way is getting tough try this instead…

Pause where you are and make yourself comfortable

Breathe in deeply, and exhale naturally, allowing your breath to leave your body at its own pace.

If it feels right for you, allow your eyes to close.

Breathe in deeply once more then exhale again.

Return to normal breathing, and pay attention to your breath. Notice it as it goes in and out of your body. Notice the quality of it. Is it hot or cold or warm? Gentle or strong or somewhere in between? Where do you notice the breath make contact with your body? Your nose, throat, chest, belly? Are you breathing deep or shallow?

As you breathe, feel yourself supported by the seat you are sitting on or the earth beneath your feet. Know and trust that you are supported here now.

Now put your hands over your heart and as you continue to pay attention to your breath, ask yourself this question:

“What do I most need right now?”

Keep breathing and listen for any responses. You might hear words, see images or symbols, sense or feel it or just know. You might also not receive any response at all at first.

For the next minute, just keep asking yourself, “What do I most need right now?” Listen for any responses that arise. Not receiving a response right now is absolutely fine. You have asked the question and planted the seed. You may find that the response arises later in the coming days when you least expect it.

If you received a response, then ask yourself the following question:

“How can I give this to myself right now?”

Again, keep your attention on your breath and listen for any responses that arise.

Continue to ask yourself the question for one minute.

Then take a deep inhale and with your exhale release the question.

In whatever way feels right to you, offer gratitude for the insight you have received. Maybe it’s a simple thank you or a bow of your head or some other gesture that feels right to you.

When you are ready, open your eyes.

You might like to write down any guidance or insights you received and anything you notice in the coming days.

You can return to this practice at any time.

If you’d prefer to be guided through the practice, I have recorded it for you here.

Here is the direct link to the recording on soundcloud here https://soundcloud.com/kym-wilson-2/a-guided-practice-to-listen-to-your-own-wise-inner-guidance/

I’d love to hear any insights you received from this practice. Leave a comment or email me.

If you are finding that is fear is taking over your life either pushing you on or holding you back then let’s work on this together. Email me now. I’m here to support you.

With love and courage,

Kym

xx

The unseen affect of your inspired action

We never truly know how what we do or say affects another person. We’re not in their bodies to know how it feels for them, and often we don’t get feedback from them as the wave of life takes us in different directions. If we did, I think it would inspire us to be more kind and to take more inspired action. But in the absence of feedback, we must surrender and either trust our action or imagine the affect it has, that our intention to offer kindness, love, encouragement does just that.

I want to offer two stories about the unseen affect of taking inspired action: one as the receiver and one as the giver.

Receiving

Recently I was surprised to receive the most beautiful email from one of my blog readers, who I will refer to as G. She took the time to share some of her personal journey with me and told me how perfectly timed some of my articles have been for her and how they have touched her in different ways. Her words landed inside me deeply. I cried as I read the email.

Sometimes, I doubt what I’m doing. It was around a year ago that I first had the inspiration to change the name of my blog to Sacred Reminders for Courageous Hearts. My inner critic reared up her nasty head asking me who was I to think I could write sacred reminders? I doubted if I should do it. It took me months to actually do it.

Sometimes I write posts and I get feedback. Sometimes I don’t. But the absence of feedback doesn’t mean that my offering or your offering for that matter hasn’t made a difference. No feedback is just no feedback.

Borrowing the words of George Michael, sometimes “you gotta have faith.” Keep following your inspiration and trust it. The affect of it may just be unseen.

I am so grateful that G felt inspired to write to me and acted on it. It was a simple, free but great gift that has deeply touched my heart and inspired renewed energy and commitment to my writing and following my inspiration.

Your kindness, encouragement and belief in another person may be just the medicine you didn’t know they needed.

Giving

A few years ago when I was in London, holed up at my friend’s place and unable to undertake my planned pilgrimage from Rome to Jerusalem due to my seized lower back and hip problems, I experienced a most beautiful and intimate moment of inspired action.

I was walking back to the underground station after receiving a massage to help my body heal, when I walked past a small, old woman with white hair pulled back in a bun sitting in a doorway with her bag of belongings next to her. The street was busy and many people walked past her without even looking at her. I saw her and walked past too but I experienced a strong inner directive to go back and speak to her.

Her name was Mary. I squatted beside her and spoke to her. She told me her story about how she had become homeless, a story of family relationship breakdown and misfortune. I listened and asked questions.

Then I felt another inner directive to offer her a hug. This is not something I usually do. At first I felt resistant, then awkward and shy but the inner directive was strong. So I asked her.

“Mary, would you like a hug?”
Her face lit up and her blue eyes beamed.
“Yes please,” she responded.

I wrapped my arms around her and she wrapped her arms around me and we hugged for a long time. When our time together felt complete, I gifted her some money to get a room for the night, and held her hand for a few moments.

“I wish I had a daughter like you,” she told me.

I looked lovingly into her eyes and then left.

I don’t know what lasting affect if any that moment had on Mary’s life. I like to hope that she felt love and kindness, and that the memory of that moment might help her keep going through tough moments.

What I do know is that it has had a lasting affect on me. Even now, three years later, I think of Mary and wonder where she is, how she is, if she is still alive. I feel a great love and tenderness in my heart. It makes me want to be more kind, more generous, more giving.

Taking inspired action, creating and offering anything that is inspired including love and kindness has an extremely positive affect on your own heart and energy field.  Maybe no one will ever see your artwork, read your poem or book, or receive or acknowledge your heartfelt offering. But following your inspiration and offering it regardless of how or if it will be received by anyone else feels really good.

Inspired action increases your energy and creativity and makes you feel more positive, radiant, and joyful. And so by default without even knowing, you will affect anyone you come into contact with.

Resist, avoid or hold back on your inspired action and you will most likely feel miserable and others will feel your misery. But by flowing with your inspiration and doing what you love, your inner fire will glow brightly and others will experience and even absorb some of your radiance.

You might just light them up. You might just change their moment, their day, even their whole life.

Your inspired action matters.

You matter.

With love and courage to you all and deep gratitude to G and to Mary,

Kym

xx

Why I risk failure

Why I risk failure
"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is". —  H Jackson Browne.

Last week, in a spate of love-bombing, my friend Sheila wrote this message on my Facebook wall:

I live vicariously through your journeys. I am witness to the beauty and magic without the blisters. I love the way you live life so fully and boldly. The way you never give up. It gives the rest of us permission to dream a little bigger. Thank you for being you.”

I felt delighted and honoured to receive such a heart-felt message of gratitude and encouragement but in feeling fully seen and acknowledged I was hit by a moment of vulnerability - I am sharing my publishing journey publicly and risking failure in front of everyone. If I don’t get published then everyone will know that I have failed, that maybe my writing wasn’t good enough, that I’m not good enough. I could be embarrassed and ashamed.

It was a momentary thought, a pretty shitty one that I quickly put aside because I know this...

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