What if you just gave up?

What if you just gave up?

“The essential surrender happens within you, it has nothing to do with anybody outside you. The basic surrender is a relaxation, a trust — so don’t be misguided by the word. Linguistically, surrender means to surrender to somebody, but religiously, surrender simply means trust, relaxing. It is an attitude rather than an act: you live through trust.”—Osho

“Your willpower is the problem,” my osteopath said as he treated me last week.
I laughed.

Determined. Stubborn. Strong-willed. That’s me. Hell, I was going to walk from Rome to Jerusalem with a bung left hip and my left ankle still recovering from a severe sprain—I couldn’t get more strong-willed than that.

I laughed because he spoke the truth

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Ending this fall of silence

Ending this fall of silence
"Silence is a source of great strength." — Lao Tzu

As we transition seasons from Autumn to Winter here in Melbourne, the remainder of the deciduous trees are in the final stages of surrendering their autumn dresses of lemon and lime, and tangerine, wine red and paper-bag brown. And I feel ready to surrender the silence that unexpectedly enveloped me after I fell.

I spent 1.5 weeks on crutches and 3 weeks applying ice for two hours every night to reduce the enormous swelling. An x-ray confirmed it wasn’t broken. However, I tore the anterior talofibular ligament in my ankle almost entirely apart. As you can imagine, this isn’t ideal for someone planning on walking thousands of kilometres. The healing has been steady but slow. And the fall triggered realisations that caused me to surrender plans made:

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The truth about boots and life

The truth about boots and life
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." — Marcus Aurelius

After almost three months of researching and trying on many different boots, and after purchasing then returning three pairs of boots that I thought were "the ones" only to discover they weren’t, my boot hunt has finally come to an end.

I have spent hours online searching for boots, reading reviews by experts and recommendations by pilgrims and hikers in various forums. Some people swear that leather boots are the only ones to buy. Some say forget boots and wear runners. Others suggest sports sandals are just fine. One person claims that boot X is "the best" while another says boot Y is.

I have spent many hours in different shops trying on boots, stomping down ramps and steps to see if my toes touch the ends; walking around with a weighted pack on my back to test the sole's thickness and shock absorption. At first boot X seems like the perfect boot until its heaviness and rigidity makes my feet ache and throb so I move on to boot Y but it is too thickly padded around the top and rubs and irritates my ankles. I’ve also spent hours at home wearing newly purchased boots as I cook dinner or do washing or walk laps of the dining room to see how they feel on my feet for an extended period of time. 

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