What if you just gave up?

/
What if you just gave up?

“The essential surrender happens within you, it has nothing to do with anybody outside you. The basic surrender is a relaxation, a trust — so don’t be misguided by the word. Linguistically, surrender means to surrender to somebody, but religiously, surrender simply means trust, relaxing. It is an attitude rather than an act: you live through trust.”—Osho

“Your willpower is the problem,” my osteopath said as he treated me last week.
I laughed.
Determined. Stubborn. Strong-willed. That’s me. Hell, I was going to walk from Rome to Jerusalem with a bung left hip and my left ankle still recovering from a severe sprain—I couldn’t get more strong-willed than that.

I laughed because he spoke the truth

Read More

Seek the silence beneath the noise

/
Seek the silence beneath the noise

"There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub."—Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Everyday, I listen for the silence beneath the noise.

We live in a busy world—daily work to earn a living, chores and to do lists, relationships to nurture and maintain, places to visit, fun to be had, plans to make, dreams to achieve.

We live in a noisy world—small talk, conversations and laughter, the constant chatter of social media and news, not to mention the thoughts that run rampant through our minds.

Yet beneath the busyness and the noise, there is silence.

Read More

I am on the floor and I am weeping

/
I am on the floor and I am weeping

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea."—Isak Dinesen

Every day I wake up wondering, “Is this the day the pain will be over?”

As I move out of bed into a new day and bring my awareness to my body, I feel the ache in my left foot and the pain in my hip growing once again.

My shoulders drop, discouraged. No, it hasn’t gone yet. My unwanted constant companion—pain—is still here.

Some days we live side-by-side with more grace than others. Today isn’t one of those days. Today the days, weeks, months of cumulative pain with little respite has stripped me bare.

I am on the floor and I am weeping.

Read More

This moment matters

/
This moment matters

"As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love—even the most simple action."— Eckhart Tolle

Whilst dreaming of what the future might hold, the places you could go, the things you might see, the things you will do.
Remember, this moment matters.

On the pavement, a grasshopper sits so still as if death has descended. A too close inspection determines it is actually still hopping full of life.

Whilst planning how you might bring those dreams to fruition, what steps you will take and by when you will take them.
Remember, this moment matters.

Read More

The wild spirit in me

/
The wild spirit in me

"Like a true nature's child,
We were born, born to be wild."—Mars Bonfire

The wild spirit in me revels in wonder. She experiences magic in every moment, in every breath she feels me inhale, in every thump she feels my heart beat, in every sensation against my skin, in the beauty she witnesses in everyday life. She sees and experiences it all even when I am walking through life a little sleepy or distracted with my eyes down.

The wild spirit in me calls me awake. She summons me to sunsets and to marvel at the muscular trunk of the old gum tree, the tiny grasshopper playing dead on the concrete in front of my feet, the cool sea wrapping its salt around my skin.

The wild spirit in me doesn’t colour inside the lines or outside the lines. She creates her own raw and messy masterpieces then burns them to nothingness. She does not collect things. She has no desire to carry excess baggage with her because all she cares about is the experience of the experience.

Read More

The training of surrender

/
The training of surrender
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."—Woody Allen

The days until the start of my pilgrimage are falling away so gracefully just like autumn leaves floating and twirling their way to the ground. There are only 3 days left of my work contract, 3 weeks until I fly to Munich and just over 5 weeks until I take my first steps from Rome towards Jerusalem.

In the last two weeks there has been a little slow walking when I have felt the urge but no training.

My Morton’s Neuroma in my left foot has settled down but not gone altogether. And my body has had a painful time adjusting to the orthotics prescribed by my podiatrist. They jarred my lower back and even now, 3 weeks later, I have almost constant lower back pain.

But this isn’t the reason I’m not training.

I surrendered the notion of training for this pilgrimage when I realised how I was pushing and striving and slamming the feminine part of myself that just wants to flow and move with joy.

Read More

To invite wonder: a practice

/
To invite wonder: a practice
Ten times a day something happens to me like this - some strengthening throb of amazement - some good sweet empathic ping and swell. This is the first, the wildest and the wisest thing I know: that the soul exists and is built entirely out of attentiveness. — Mary Oliver

Learning to pay attention to the world around me saved my spirit from withering and dying.

A few years ago while I was still in Thailand, I discovered a mindful writing practice called 'Small Stones'—a short piece of writing that precisely captures a fully engaged moment. It's about keeping your eyes open for beauty, simple or extraordinary, then observing it and writing it exactly as you saw it and by doing so developing a deeper engagement with the world around you.

It was this practice that helped me to transition back to city, corporate life amidst the glass and concrete without suffocating after living my carefree gypsy scuba-diving lifestyle in a tropical paradise. It was this practice that helped me to discover the beauty in everyday suburban and city life. It was this practice that connected me to the world around me in a very simple yet deep and magical way.

Read More