What does it mean to feel safe? A soulful definition and 5 core components of safety
There’s a quiet truth that lives beneath many of our struggles. It’s not loud or obvious. It doesn’t always show up in words. But it affects how we live, love, make decisions, and care for ourselves.
That truth is this: many of us don’t feel truly safe.
And we may not even realise it.
Safety is a word often associated with threat or danger — war zones, violence, unsafe homes. But what if the absence of safety is more subtle than that? What if it’s a kind of inner disconnection, a shaky ground under our feet, a quiet voice that tells us we can’t relax, be ourselves, or trust life?
As I walked my own healing path — through anxiety, self-doubt, and a deep sense of not-belonging — I came to understand that many of the ways I struggled were actually symptoms of a deeper wound: the absence of felt safety.
And as I’ve sat with many women over the years — especially those in midlife who’ve given much, adapted often, and now long to return home to themselves — I’ve seen again and again how healing safety changes everything.
This article is for you if you’ve ever felt anxious without knowing why, struggled to trust yourself, kept parts of yourself hidden, or longed for deeper support and belonging.
Let’s explore what it really means to feel safe — and how reclaiming that can change your life.
A Soul-led definition of safety
Most definitions of safety focus on what’s not present — danger, risk, harm. But I believe we need more than that.
To me, feeling safe is a lived, embodied experience. It’s not just something you know. It’s something you feel in your bones, your breath, your being.
Here’s how I define it:
To feel safe is to be a whole and present you–in your body, grounded on the earth, trusting in life, empowered to fulfil your core needs, respond to life and its challenges and naturally express your unique essence.
Or more poetically:
You are like a tree rooted deeply into the earth, holding you here, nurturing and sustaining your life force.
Your trunk rises strong and true to the form that it was uniquely designed to take in this life.
Your branches stretch wide in their own beautiful, unrepeatable shape.
You are sustained by the soil of your worth and the light of your soul.
Storms come, droughts and bushfires too. You weather it all. Adapt–even if that is to fall or seed itself anew again.
This is the kind of safety I support women to find — especially in midlife, when the soul calls us to return home to ourselves in a deeper way.
Here are the five core components of this kind of soul-deep safety:
1. It’s safe to be you.
You are safe to show up in your life as you — not a mask, not a role, not who others need you to be.
You don’t need to hide your sensitivity or soften your strength.
You can express your feelings and creativity without fear of being “too much.”
You’re not endlessly trying to fix or improve yourself — instead, you’re deepening into who you already are.
2. You have healthy self-esteem and personal power
Feeling safe means trusting yourself — your instincts, your decisions, your boundaries.
You can say yes and no without guilt.
You speak up when you need to.
You care for your own feelings and can talk about them with safe and appropriate others.
You don’t hand over your power to people, patterns, or old stories.
Instead, you relate to others as a whole, sovereign being.
3. You don’t feel afraid to exist
You trust that your needs will be met, even in uncertainty.
Even if money is tight or things feel fragile, you know you are supported — by life, by the earth, by the inner resources you’ve cultivated.
You don’t live in a state of hypervigilance, always scanning for danger, and not trying to be somewhere else.
You can inhabit your life here and now.
This doesn’t mean you don’t respond to real danger or never feel fear — it means you don’t live as if danger is always around the corner. You can feel at ease in your body throughout the day and in your interactions and only respond to signs of danger as they arise.
Safe is feeling grounded, stable and responsive.
4. You know that your existence matters
When you feel safe, you know that you are worthy.
Not because you prove, perform, or please — but because you are.
You matter to yourself. You matter to those around you.
You are worthy of love, care, protection, and presence.
You don’t have to earn belonging.
You belong because you exist
5. You experience belonging and healthy relationships
We are wired for connection.
When you feel safe, your relationships reflect that.
You’re not constantly managing others’ emotions or feeling unsafe around those closest to you.
Instead, you choose relationships where:
You are respected and seen.
You can be vulnerable without fear.
Conflict is met with care, not control.
You feel supported, not drained.
And when those relationships aren’t possible, you know how to return to the deepest belonging: the one within yourself, and with the earth, the Divine, and your soul.
Why safety matters in midlife
In midlife, many women begin to feel an inner shake-up — a longing to stop performing, to stop being who the world asked them to be, and finally become who they really are.
But to do that, we need safety.
Safety to unravel.
Safety to shed the old skins.
Safety to return to our true pace, voice, and rhythm.
If that’s where you are — between the woman you’ve been and the one who’s emerging — I want you to know: you don’t have to walk it alone.
A final word from me
When I sit with you in healing, my deepest intention is to create a sacred, safe space where all of you is welcome.
Where your soul parts can return.
Where your nervous system can exhale.
Where you can remember who you really are.
Because when you feel safe, you don’t just feel better — you come alive.
You live your purpose not by doing more, but by being more you.
And the world needs that.
The world needs you.
Ready to take the next step?
If you’ve been navigating life feeling anxious, disconnected, or unsure how to fully be yourself — especially during the tender threshold of midlife — I’d love to support you.
I offer intuitive healing and holistic, soul-centred counselling for sensitive, awakening women who long to feel safe, grounded, and whole.
Whether you're facing transition, burnout, or grief, our work together can help you rebuild a sense of inner safety, belonging, and empowerment — so you can return home to yourself and begin to live with greater presence and peace.
You don’t have to wait until you feel ready.
Safety is not the destination — it’s the soil where your healing begins.
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With love,
Kym
Note: This blog post was originally published in 2022 and has been updated June 2025 to reflect my current focus and voice.
