Reflections on inner change, awareness, and lived experience
Writing that explores what we experience beneath the surface — in moments of change, uncertainty, and becoming
This space holds reflections, insights, and observations from both practice and lived experience.
I write for those moving through periods of uncertainty, transition, or inner change who are wanting to understand their experience more deeply.
These writings are not here to instruct or fix anything.
They are simply offered as points of reflection and recognition.
You’ll find writing on:
— inner change and spiritual experience
— emotional, psychological, energetic, and spiritual layers of life
— sensitivity, embodiment, and awareness
— grief, thresholds, and transition
— navigating life from a more grounded inner clarity
Some pieces are recent and reflect my current way of working and understanding.
Others are from earlier stages of my work and carry a different tone. Both belong.
Take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t.
And if something stirs in you — a question, a knowing, a desire to connect — I’d love to hear from you.
Why welcoming our experience is harder than it sounds
Many of us try to push away difficult emotions in an attempt to cope or function better. But what we resist doesn’t disappear — it often stays within us, unprocessed and alone. This reflection explores what it actually takes to create enough inner safety for our emotional experience to be met, held, and allowed to move.
Why self-healing isn’t always enough (and when we need the support of another)
You can do a lot of healing work on your own and still feel stuck. Not because you’ve failed, but because some things can’t be fully seen or met in isolation. This is where the presence of another can change something.
On Sensitivity, Inner Change, and the Path of Awakening
A reflection on sensitivity, inner change, and the emotional, psychological, energetic, and spiritual layers of experience that shape healing and awakening.
Why it's okay to feel stuck, anxious, and unsure
Feeling stuck, anxious, or overwhelmed? It's okay. This article offers compassionate guidance on embracing your current experience, finding peace in the messiness of life, and allowing healing to unfold naturally. You're not alone in this journey
What’s wrong with me?
In this heartfelt post, I explore the common and often silent question many of us ask: "What's wrong with me?" Through personal experiences and insights from my counseling practice, I reveal how this question stems from deep-seated beliefs formed in our early years. I discuss the importance of witnessing and nurturing our true selves, recognising the unique gifts we hold, and understanding that there is nothing inherently wrong with us. This post offers a compassionate perspective on self-acceptance and the journey to reclaiming our authentic selves.
You’re not too sensitive or too emotional or ‘too much’ of anything
For too long you’ve been told that you’re too sensitive, too emotional, too shy, too weird, too deep, too complex, too quiet, too different, too much of the vibrant living qualities that make you you and unique.
You might have heard it from your parents or caregivers or siblings when you were growing up. And even now you’re all grown up, you might still hear it from them. Maybe you heard it from friends, colleagues or bosses. You’ve most likely absorbed it from media, advertising and collective messaging.
Grief is not the price of love (written and video blog)
“Grief is the price of love” is a quote attributed to English psychiatrist Colin Murray Parkes and one that I often see shared on social media, usually by those who have lost someone they love and are in a long and deep grief process; it gives some solace, explanation and justification for the pain they are experiencing and it’s longevity.
However, this perspective offers a limited understanding of the complex nature of both grief and love. And it can cause you to diminish, invalidate or ignore grief that arises that isn’t associated with love. This disenfranchisement of grief can lead to loneliness and isolation and exacerbate the pain you are experiencing as well as the longevity of your grief.
Continue to blog to watch my Youtube video below or keep reading the written article….
How to work through and transform inner resistance, procrastination or avoidance with compassion and sensitivity
Inner resistance is something that we can all struggle with... some of us more than others depending our life experiences and life myth. While it can keep you stuck, trapped, missing out on beneficial experiences and the good things in life and even get you into trouble at work when it shows up as avoidance and procrastination, it can also be a wise protector. The challenge is to meet your inner resistance in a way that you can understand what its deeper message is, so you can make aligned choices and respond instead of react.
How to use radical compassion to help yourself through a freeze state (or any difficult emotion or experience)
Some members of my community have been telling me that they’re in various states of freeze that they've been in for quite some time, or that they’re really challenged by going into a freeze response in certain situations such as being criticised by a loved one or having anger directed towards them.
So in this helpful article, I explain:
what a freeze state is
why you can get stuck in a freeze response
the typical approaches people react to a freeze and why they don’t work
how radical self-compassion can help yourself get out of a freeze state; and
I take you through Tara Brach’s RAIN process combined with somatic touch to help you through a freeze/shutdown response or any challenge you may be experiencing
BONUS audio recording of me taking you through the RAIN and somatic touch process for radical self-compassion
5 Steps to Get Out of a Rut
For several months now I have felt like I am in a liminal space, caught between old versions of who I was and who I am becoming but aren’t quite yet as old identities and ways of being release and new ones form.
In the last few days, I have experienced an incredible turnaround in an unexpected way.
It has been a welcome surprise and gift to return home and discover that I have been released from the rut I was in. I have more energy, drive and inspiration, as well as a renewed sense of meaning and vision. The pathlessness I had experienced for so long is finally starting to dissipate and open up. New opportunities and possibilities are starting to appear.
In this article I will give you the process that took place and explain how and why it helped.
How trauma and the freeze response might be stopping you from changing your life and achieving your dreams
I was going to write an article about how our inner critics work against us, but now that I’ve sat down to write, the words have frozen inside me and it feels like a drawer-bridge crashed down in front of me so I can’t move forward and write. My stomach is constricted. Feelings of dread, horror and shame arise. My arms feel jittery and weak. I want to go and do something else that doesn’t feel as hard or scary.
Have you ever experienced something like that?
Maybe it wasn’t as result of writing. Perhaps you wanted to reach out to someone to take the next step in a friendship or relationship, make contact with someone you haven’t spoken to for a long time, apply for your dream job, go somewhere new on holiday or take a creative class alone, speak in public or bring up a conflict or issue in a relationship. You may have concluded that you’re on the wrong track, that what you’re feeling is an indication that you shouldn’t proceed. If it feels bad, maybe you’re just not meant to do it? Or maybe what you long for just isn’t for you? Why would doing something you love or really want to do feel so bad? But this often isn’t what it signifies at all.
Instead of writing about inner critics in this article or even a more soulful piece as I love to do, I am sharing about navigating the freeze response on your growing edge – where you want to step towards something you long to experience but freeze and get stuck and can’t go towards it. It can be very painful, lonely and upsetting. Without a map – a clear understanding– of what is happening you can stay stuck for too long or give up and never get to where you long to be.
Be like driftwood: medicine for failure
So when your goal, dream or plan fails or no matter how hard you try or what you do you just can’t achieve your goal, what do you do? Do you come up with plan B? Maybe. Or maybe the medicine your soul needs is to become like driftwood.
Become a Safe Space to Process Your Emotions for Liberation and Wisdom
Sometimes when I’m working a big growth edge in my life, I wake up feeling fear and dread in my stomach, mostly fear. When I feel intense feelings that I don’t like my old pattern is to get rid of it by pushing it away, ignoring it or dissociating from it. This was how I survived some overwhelming felt experiences in my childhood.
The problem is that these strategies may bring some temporary relief but they aren’t very effective in the long-term. Resisting any unwanted feeling tends to amplify it and can lock it in, especially if the feeling is coming from a young part of you that needs your holding and care and another part of you is pushing it away. Trying to ignore it on the other hand can lead to reactive behavior or disconnecting from the body you are here to inhabit and fully live through.
In this article I will explain:
the role your feelings play in your life and why they matter
what you need to know about tending to your feelings (and what not to do)
and how to become a safe space for you feelings so that you don’t get stuck in them and can discover the wisdom they may hold
You will rise back up and bloom: a road map for endings and the dark night of the soul
This is what happens after life cuts you down to the ground, when change has been forced upon you, a relationship or job ends, health leaves you, a loved one dies, your dream is crushed or a combination of many stressors and pressures makes your life seem untenable and you can’t go on.
Read more for a road map to finding your way through change, loss and the most challenging times of your life.
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